Thursday, March 19, 2009

Count 1....2....

I can't believe that Cedric is gone. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

I was the one who found him...he was at the foot of the stairs when I came home. I laid down next to him just because I had been planning to stay up with him because I haven't been sleeping anyway. And then I noticed he didn't move....and he wasn't breathing.

I just laid there...tried to wake him up. Whispered to him. Shook him. Tried to feel a pulse. And then I just cried.

There are times I wish I could go back to feeling nothing. Today is one of those days.

I feel like I just got hit with a knock out punch...a couple of epic ones. I feel myself falling, knowing I am going down....knowing I am going to hit the mat. I just don't know if i will be able to get back up once I am down...

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