I can't believe that Cedric is gone. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
I was the one who found him...he was at the foot of the stairs when I came home. I laid down next to him just because I had been planning to stay up with him because I haven't been sleeping anyway. And then I noticed he didn't move....and he wasn't breathing.
I just laid there...tried to wake him up. Whispered to him. Shook him. Tried to feel a pulse. And then I just cried.
There are times I wish I could go back to feeling nothing. Today is one of those days.
I feel like I just got hit with a knock out punch...a couple of epic ones. I feel myself falling, knowing I am going down....knowing I am going to hit the mat. I just don't know if i will be able to get back up once I am down...
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