Tucson...and the Unexpected...

Ryan and I got to spend a "long weekend" in Tucson last week...and I am already missing the desert warmth!

Ryan surprised me a couple months ago, saying that for my birthday we were going to go visit Grandma for a few days. It was the perfect gift!

As you all know, I love my Grandma very dearly--and I love my Tucson too. It was so much fun to finally get to take Ryan to see it all! We even got to spend Sunday at the Sonora Desert Museum...Ryan enjoyed all the snakes and reptiles--and javelinas too!

Every time I visit Tucson, I wish that I could live there. Honestly, Ryan and I are weighing the pros and cons of several places around the country that we could live. Seattle, Tucson, somewhere else in Colorado...all over the place. We know what we would like to do for work...so now we just have to figure out where we can do what we want to do.

I am always surprised with the curve balls life throws our way...even small unexpected incidents. Like, my biological Mom called me on my birthday. I believe that the last time we spoke was about a year and a half ago. She is doing well, and for that I am very grateful. She is a talker, and talked for about an hour as I did homework. I do think that our relationship is getting better, and she told me that she hopes that our relationship can be even better. I do too.

I am very glad that our biggest sale of the year at TCS is almost over...I am looking forward to having a little more free time to spend on school and projects. One of these days I will finally get the etsy store up and running. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, I am starting an etsy store--for hats, shirts, corsets...anything and everything I want to make! I have already made several hats, all I have to do is post pictures!

Well, I should get back to homework..or something. I finally finished my tattoos yesterday, and so typing is quite awkward...and I am sure that writing will be awkward too. Worth it, nonetheless.

I hope that life is full of joy and happiness for you! And I hope that the weather is warm (or to your taste!)

Baking, Crafting, Music and the Like...

Oh holidays...
I can't believe that Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone; and that it is now 2012! Where in the world did all the time go?!?

Lately, as I have been driving around here and there, I have been contemplating time. How it always passes at the same rate. A minute is a minute...a day is always 24 hours...a year is (leap years excluded) always 525,600 minutes.

Yet, it does not always seem that all minutes are created equal...not even all years seems equal. Relativity, I guess.

2011 was a great year. Sure, it has its up and downs...but it sure was good to us. Our year was packed full of adventure...

We moved in together last January (after getting engaged on Christmas 2010)...

I got my nose pierced in April...

We visited Roswell, NM--and various other oddities of NM...

Saw Biffy Clyro live in an awesomely small venue...

Had awesome engagement pictures taken (by Austyn Elizabeth Ford)...

I made my wedding dress in one month...

Had an amazing bridal shower/bachelor party...

GOT MARRIED!!! On my Grandparents' wedding anniversary...

Had a fun time at Boondocks afterward...

Honeymooned in the sand dunes and New Mexico...

Went yurting with the other Borgmanns and the Duncans...

We moved out of our tiny apartment into a lovely townhouse...

Expanded our family with the adoption of Kaylee Serenity...

Went on lovely summer and fall hikes...

Finally got to see Rocktin Grove play...

I discovered my love of baking...

Ryan discovered his love of sharp objects...

Halloween-ed with awesome friends...

We celebrated Ryan's birthday in style...

I began mentoring and volunteering...

Kairi and Sora kept watch over the house...

Kaylee enjoyed her first snow...

Ryan got a new tattoo...

We spent Christmas with our wonderful families...

And we enjoyed every minute of 2011 possible...

So, 2012--here we come. We have big expectations for you. 2011 was pretty epic, so you better not let it show you up.

Thanks friends, for reading! Be on the lookout for more fun stuff from the Borgmanns...because 2012 is the year of the RayBorg...it's a slight adjustment to the Chinese Zodiac calendar. ;-)

Happy New Year to you!!

Oh, Autumn...

I know it has been awhile. My apologies. Between work, school, raising a puppy and life; I have completely neglected this blog for a while. Can't promise I'll be able to write more just yet--I am only a month away from finals and we're getting into the busy season at work. But hopefully, soon I will find more time. (And when I do, I will let you borrow my time machine.)

It's all been pretty much business as usual. Work, school, feed puppy, feed cats, feed husband, sleep. Repeat. But much more fun and interesting than that sounds. ;-)

Watch this.

Then we'll talk about it.

Ok, watched it? Pretty amazing, right?

We actually watched that at work this morning. It was part of a presentation we watched from the staff meeting our managers went to a few months ago. I can't remember the name of the presenter who incorporated this video into his presentation, but his point really hit home.

He said that one of his friends told him that this is what purpose sounds like, for four reasons:

-You have to know the words.

-You have to step up when it's your turn.

-You have to listen to each other, communicate, and harmonize.

-You have a beautiful song to sing.

I thought that was amazing. It is easy for all of us to get discouraged, to feel lost and distracted.

But we each have a purpose. We have to learn the words. We must be prepared to step up when it's our turn. We must listen to each other. And we have to always remember that we have a beautiful song to sing.

And we are the only one who can sing it.

10 years...

10 years ago today, my Grandfather passed away.

10 years ago today my Dad, Grandma, aunt, cousin and I watched as he took his last breaths...

How come it still feels like it was last year? Why do I still miss him so? Why do I still forget that he's gone sometimes?

I can never imagine what my Grandmother feels...what she thinks. I called her today--she was paying bills. I know she thinks about it, and sometimes I wish we could talk about it. But I wouldn't know what to say, or what to ask.

Sometimes I dream about having the ability to travel through time...what exactly I would do and who I would want to see. I wish that I could talk to Grandpa, back before the cancer wreaked havoc on his brain...

If I could go back, I would probably visit my Grandparents right after they found out that he had cancer. I would tell Grandpa that he should go fishing, build things--do all the things he loved to do--and to skip the brain surgery. The surgery gave us precious time with him, but I always wish that he would have been able to do the things he loved right up to the end.

If I could go back, I would tell myself to forget about boys in high school and instead focus on family and friends. Then maybe I could have spent more time with my Grandfather when he could speak...

There are so many "if I coulds." I try now to focus on the "I am going to's."

Ponderings...

September sometimes gets lost for me, especially towards the end...

My Grandfather passed away on October 1, 2001. This year he has been gone for 10 years.

There are so many moments that it still seems unreal that he is gone. There are still moments that I think how nice it will be to see him when I go visit Tucson...

I can't believe that it has been 10 years. I often wonder what my Grandmother thinks and feels...I can't even imagine.

So, I have been lost in those thoughts lately. Other than that, things are clipping right along at the Borgmann household...

We got a new fridge (and by "we," I mean our landlord bought a new one for us and we received a new fridge...), which is awesome since our old fridge was keeping a relatively steady 58 degrees temperature. Not great for keeping pretty much any food safe. Nonetheless, today a new fridge was delivered--and it was too big. Then a few hours later--a newer fridge was delivered! And it fit! So now we are once again able to purchase perishables.

Kaylee is growing like a weed! She has gotten so big! And even though it is 1030PM, she is still running laps around the couch. She has so much energy! She has become fast friends with my brother's cat, Sam. Sam is staying with us until tomorrow evening, and I am sure that both he and Kaylee will be very sad to be separated. (Now it's not just Kaylee making laps--Sam is too.)

Ryan gave me a wonderful surprise today--he took me to get an iphone!! I have wanted an iphone for a very very very long time--a very very very long time!! And so far I am loving it! I am so excited--I can't wait to figure out everything about it!

Well, I have to run for now. But more to follow, I am sure...

Pieces...

I left a piece

In the tear-soaked clouds

Of yesterday...

In the dreary gray

Of unendingness,

And seeming nothingness.

I left a piece

In the cold darkness

Of my past,

In the empty promises

Of thoughts past.

I left a piece

And felt it was gone.

I found my peace

In the tear soaked clouds

Of today,

Where tears of joy

Filled the silver linings.

I found my peace

When I saw

The unendingness

And seeming nothingness

Was a promise

Filled with hope.

I found my peace,

In every piece.

A Myriad of New Adventures...

In only a month, so much has changed...

We moved! We were so very fortunate to have found a place that we couldn't normally afford, but we were given a great discount because we know the owner. We basically tripled the amount of space we had in our apartment--and looking at how all of our stuff has filled this new place, I am not sure how we even fit into the old one!

I also started back into school. So far, I am loving my classes! They are basically all parks and recreation courses, but they're not entirely a walk in the pa

rk. (Get it?) Nonetheless, I am thoroughly enjoying the topics and discussions that are a part of my classes. In one class, we spent half a lecture discussing "What is camping?" So far, I am feeling that this is an area of study that I can really apply myself to.

And most exciting of all--we decided to expand our family!! I introduce to you, Kaylee Serenity!

We decided that something really important for our big move was moving into a place that would allow us to have a dog. So as soon as we found our new place, we started the puppy hunt!

We found Kaylee through Petfinder.com. She was listed as a special needs puppy, and we found out that she was born deaf. Both Ryan and I seemed to know that this little girl was destined to be a part of our family--and so the first day she was up for adoption, we went to visit her! We had no idea how it was going to play out, since we weren't moving for another week. Nonetheless, it must have all been planned--because not only did we have to "race against" someone else to adopt Kaylee, but we also were fortunate enough to get to meet her Foster Parents; who lovingly offered to keep her for one more week so we could bring her home once we moved!

Neither Ryan nor I are entirely sure how we are going to train a deaf dog. But we know that we are ready and willing for the challenge. We are so happy to have grown our family--and the cats are too (for the most part...or at least partially.) Kaylee is fitting in beautifully! She is happy, playful, strong, funny and loving. We are very happy to have been so blessed with 3 wonderful children!

Sora and Kairi are really enjoying the new house! Sora loves having lots of space to wander and get lost in, and Kairi seems to really enjoy having a sister! While Kaylee is a little energetic for the other kids right now, I have a feeling that they all will settle in together just fine.

So, from our busy house to yours--Happy Thursday!

The Art of Friendship...

I know people who have dozens upon dozens of friends, and not just "facebook friends;" but people that they actually talk to and hang out with on a regular basis.

I am not one of those people. I have a small handful of close friends that chat and spend time with. I find it amazing that some people can maintain friendships with so many people...

Two things come to mind when I think about friendship. One: when I started therapy 2 years ago, one of my goals was to have close female friends. I always had an easy time making guy friends, but I really felt like I needed a little more estrogen support. I am so happy to say now that I have several close gal pals! I can't imagine my every day life without their friendship, and I can't describe the difference it has made having my girlfriends in my life. (This is not to say my guy friends aren't awesome. They are. It's just that girls are a different sort of awesomeness that cannot be understood, only experienced.)

Two: friendship should never require promises...I think about friends that I have had in the past who said that they would always be there for me; friends who promised we would "always be friends." Typically, this type of friendship goes one of two ways: 1)life carries you two in separate directions, but you know that if you ever need someone to talk to you can call your old friend even though you haven't talked in eons...or 2) life carries you two in separate directions and the friendship disappears and you become merely acquaintances.

I have both types of friendships in my life. It's amazing to think that I have a friend that I made in kindergarten (was that when we met Stacy??)--and we still keep up with each other's lives. But it is also very sad that I have people that I barely ever hear from that used to be my best friends.

It happens. Life does pull us each in different directions, and that's ok. Sometimes friends are just put into our lives in a particular moment because we need them in that moment--or they have something to teach us that we need from that moment on...

Friendship is an art form. Being able to be a friend and have friends can become such a juggling act.

Fortunately, I married my very bestest friend. So I get to spend most of my time maintaining that friendship--and it's fun! But I still am very thankful for the other friends in my life, whether we chat weekly or yearly--I know each one has a very special contribution to the fullness of my life.

The Sand Dunes...

Sigh...

There are mornings I really wish that Ryan and I could spend all our time adventuring. Just get away from the everyday mundane and see extraordinary things every day...

But then I remember that there are extraordinary things every day, if we just open our eyes and look for them.

I wake up every morning to my wonderful husband, who kisses me goodbye before he leaves. Already today I have watched my two kids chase each other around, looked over Kairi as she fell asleep in a laundry basket, had a conversation with Sora about the size of our apartment, and seen a million shades of green just outside our windows. Also, our apartment is nearly 100% clean and clutter-free--if that's not extraordinary, then I don't know what is.

Just watching the clouds gather over the mountains, how the grass sways in the breeze, the sun shining down over everything...it's all beautiful and extraordinary.

Someday there will be a time when we get to put all of our energy into wonderful adventures...but until then, I will learn to love the everyday extraordinary.

The Next Adventure...

We have a very tiny apartment. If you took a postage stamp, folded it into quarters--that's about the size of it. Ok, maybe just into thirds...

When we were hunting for our first apartment together, we began to realize how crazy our daily lives are. I regularly drive to Denver and the DTC for school and work at Flatirons. Ryan drives into Longmont daily for work, and then drives all over Colorado from there. So our hunt for the perfect place had to be a location fairly friendly for all that driving.

Throw into the mix that we have 2 cats. So pet-friendly was a must.

After much searching and much-ado, we found an apartment. It was small in square footage and did not have a washer/dryer in the apartment (like I had really really hoped), but it was in the right location at the right price.

We lucked out in that our apartment was one of the more updated ones in our complex AND it has an amazing view. We overlook a grazing field for horses and prairie dogs as well as a little creek. I look out our windows and see beautiful green everywhere!! It's probably the best apartment view I have ever had. EVER.

We have been fairly happy thus far, loving the seclusion of our little apartment. But for the past month or so--things have not felt so secluded or happy...

We got several new neighbors...and unfortunately, at least one of them smokes--in their bathroom. And since the vents between the bathrooms are actually connected, that means that our apartment slowly fills up with smoke...which is disgusting, and for Ryan and I--dangerous. We are both asthmatics, and neither of us do well in smoke.

After several emails/phone calls/notes, we have had no resolution to the smoking problem. Our bathroom smells strongly of smoke all day long, and if I don't keep the door closed, it starts to leak out into our entire apartment.

I have talked to some of our other neighbors, and they have complained about the smoke as well. The only thing that was done about the smoke was management posted a note on all of our doors reminding us that smoking was not permitted in the building or within 20 feet of the entrances. The little reminder did not remedy the situation.

So, after much conversation...Ryan and I have decided that if possible, we are going to move our of our apartment before our lease is up. We are hoping that Colorado's Clean Indoor Air Act will provide us the opportunity to leave without penalty.

Our next adventure is on the horizon! I guess we will see where we end up...