I actually feel pretty good right now. I got to do some tree climbing, and that felt so amazing....super refreshing for my soul. I found my favorite branch, curled up koala style, and laid there for oh...probably an hour. It was just like I remember it...you close your eyes and feel the warm breeze, the tree slightly moving in the wind....the sun shining down and warming you just enough. The feel of the rough bark, and the smell of nature. I need to do this every day...or at least once a week.
I had a really great talk with my Dad today as we laid out ant traps. We talked about the divorce, life after divorce, and moving on. I am so fortunate that my parents are so supportive of everything...I really don't know where I would be if they didn't.
I love this house...my parents' house. It is so beautiful...and I love the yard. Two sides of the yard are lined with these tall trees (the ones I like to climb) and there are birds singing all the time. It is so quiet and serene...most of the time. (At this moment I am actually being bombarded with sirens going down the highway...funny.) But you can hear the breeze, and the birds....and at night, you can actually see the stars really clearly. This place is amazing.
I have started to see this time here kind of as a retreat...a way to prepare for the next steps that I have to take. The quiet helps with that mood...the nostalgia...well, most of the nostalgia anyway. This is home....is always has been...and I think that it always will be a little bit. I am planning to get a Cedric size boulder to put out on the ridge in the back yard, with a plaque...because this was Cedric's yard.
Today I climbed the maple in the back yard...the one that was just as tall as I was when we moved in. It is now taller than the house. It was heartwarming to climb up its limbs...that something can grow so much in so little time...it made me smile. And then I got to thinking...I have grown at least as much--maybe not in height, but in life. That tree will be mine I think....we are kind of twins.
The weather today was amazing...sunny and warm and hopeful. Just like spring should be. It is supposed to snow later in the week, but I am hoping that the beauty of the day will sustain me. Only a few more weeks, and we will be into full-fledged springtime...thank God.
In this moment...I am feeling great. I am confident in the steps that I have to take next. I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life....whatever it holds. I am ready for it. I know that when the bell rings for the end of round 2...I will be standing.
Today I realized that I need things...like love and trust. And I need people. I think that I may have to make a list so I don't forget...because knowing me, I will.
Today....I am smiling. I am hopeful. Today has become a great day...and boy did I need that.
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