Friday, March 12, 2010

Annulment


I got a letter in the mail today. It was from the Archdiocese of Denver...a request for cooperation in getting a marriage annulment.

According to dictionary.com: The invalidation of a marriage, as for nonconsummation, effected by means of a declaration stating that the marriage was never valid.

There was no warning...no email, text, phone call--nothing to let me know it was on its way. Nothing to say, "Hey, could you do this for me?" Low blow. Really low blow.

His family can pretend that I am dead, that I no longer exist--that I never existed. But I refuse to tolerate such treatment from him. He made the decisions--he took the actions that pushed me away, that violated me, that broke our marriage vows. It wasn't me...it may take two to tango....but it only takes one to fall.



I DO EXIST. WHAT YOU DID STILL EXISTS. What was done has not changed. An apology does not negate or excuse your actions. What you did still exists....you cannot erase what you have done. Until you accept what you have done, you will not be able to move on.

Our marriage was valid. You broke my heart. I trusted you...completely. You crushed me. I was honest with you....you admitted that you had been lying to me for years. You asked why I didn't fight you...should I really have to hit my husband? I was not perfect either...but I always tried to make the decision that was best for the both of us. Every choice I made was out of love for you. Can you say the same? We both know the answer.

So, if you want an annulment...you have to talk to me about what happened. That's all I ask. Then, someday very very soon....you can pretend like I don't exist, and I won't care. But what you did will always exist. I hope you remember it everyday. And I hope you never make the same decision again.

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