No longer a teacher...

This was my first Monday in a long time not being in a teacher role.

It's going to feel weird....but I am looking forward to it.

I have spent the last 7 years...ok...more like 19 years feeling the need to be a teacher and a role model. Ever since my parents got divorced, I have felt the need to be better and stronger than I was, and I always felt like I needed to be the perfect role model--for my brother, for my friends, for my students.

My brother is doing awesome with his life. I am so proud of the person he's become, and the father he is. He is in school, doing extremely well at work--he seems to be getting promoted all the time--and he is a great father to his wonderful daughter.

Check.

My friends all have their own lives...they make their own decisions, they have their own paths....and I have learned that what I say and do does not have too great of an impact on any of them. They are all doing well--and I am proud to know them.

Check.

I have spent the last 7 years working with students. The first semester of my sophomore year of college, I was asked to work in the Costume Shop and I ended up helping teach sewing labs. Since that moment I felt a great sense of responsibility to my coworkers and students to be of "upmost standing" in all that I did. But time has run out...it's not that there are no more students, or that they are all doing awesomely and don't need me, but I am no longer their teacher. I am proud of all (ok...MOST) of the students who have come through my shop. They are moving on with their lives.

Check.

So now it's time to move on with my life. Not that I don't want to continue to be a good role model for my nieces and nephews, or that I want to have a wild crazy time. It is just kind of nice to not have so much pressure...even though I know it's mostly from myself.

I am learning to let go, and go with the flow. I have no concrete plans for when I move (in less than 12 weeks!!) and I am ok with that. I am fine with waiting to see what the world dishes up, waiting to see where the wind carries me...waiting to see what it is my heart truly desires.

It's a brand new day.