What can I say about today? What needs to be said, what should be said? What needs to be left unsaid? I am not sure the answer to any of those questions.
For those who don't know, today is my wedding anniversary. 3 years ago. How much can change in such a short amount of time.
I still remember that day....and all the times leading up to that day. But now I also remember all the days since then....and all the days leading to today.
The fact is, I wouldn't change it. I know that the sum of all my yesterdays are what have brought me to today, and right now--I know where I am and where I stand...for the most part. I am learning who I am and what it means to be myself in this world. And I could not be here without all the pieces of my past.
Oftentimes I am very sad for all the hurt and all the pain that has been a part of this process, on all parts. Oftentimes I am overwhelmed by the changes brought about in my life, and the gravity of the situation. but most often I am thankful beyond measure for the immense blessings in my life.
I am blessed with loving friends and a supportive family. Blessed with two "children" who light up my life. Blessed with an extended "family" who has chosen to support me regardless of consequences. I have been watching the pieces of my life fall quietly into place, and the result blows my mind. I look forward to each new day, seeing what is in store and what will be.
And I am blessed with an open, optimistic spirit. Beautiful weather and good music. Sand and sunshine. A brand new day.
The chains holding me down have been broken. It has taken a great deal of time, an immense amount of pain, and all the strength I could muster. But I am no longer bound by hate, depression, doubt and fear. I ride on the wings of hope and love....and I know they will carry me as far as I need to go.
Today, I will be on the beach and in the surf. Feeling the ebb and flow of the ocean, remembering that there is the same ebb and flow of everything in life.
And I will spend the day in smiles and laughter. Today is a celebration....of what was, what is, and what is yet to come.
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