There are days I still wonder how I ended up here, where I am, with the new pieces of my life falling into place. Yesterday was one of those days. Today is one of those days too.
Lately each new day is a day of firsts....yesterday was first interview in the real world....first time in LA...I am so enjoying each new day of firsts. I enjoy not knowing what tomorrow will bring--not even knowing what today will be--is such a thrill!
Yesterday I kept looking back....thinking about where I was 7 months ago....where I was a year ago. This life is so different from the one I had, the one that I knew....
But I have discovered that this is my life. What I have now--what I am discovering is who I am, and who I will be. To have lost so much...and then to find so much more is so encouraging. I know I lost a lot of time, pieces of myself never to be regained but rejuvenated, and people who were very dear to me who will no longer speak to me.
The hardest part is that last part. It is difficult to just have to walk away from those you love and care so deeply for. But it is their choice, and I cannot force my wishes upon them. So instead I will move forward, looking to those who want to share in my joy and my new adventures.
The time, I cannot fret about. It has passed, and there is nothing I can do to rewind. That time was not totally lost...I like to think of it as invested. I got a return on some of my investment, and I am very fortunate in that. But sometimes you lose...and that's okay too.
The pieces of myself...are coming back together. They are not the same, not by any measure.
So each new day of firsts....and each new day with new puzzle pieces...I look forward to it all.
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