I love the outdoors...desert, mountains, ocean--I love it all. I just loving being outside enjoying the beauty of the world.
Today I got to do one of my favorite activities....spelunking...and rock climbing. My big risk for the day was going alone--and don't worry anyone--I won't be doing that again. I had someone to go with me, but they canceled last minute, so please--don't berate me for going alone. It was not what i had intended.
That being said--I am really glad I went alone. It was an amazing experience for me. Mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally--it was good to be alone.
This cave (not totally a cave, but that is what I am going to call it) is one that I climbed quite a few times in high school, so I was somewhat familiar with it. But I haven't climbed it in....oh, probably about 9 years. So my memories of what it all was like was a little fuzzy. I remembered bits and pieces of it, but they were out of order--so I was looking for the wrong things at the wrong time. But I finally figured it all out.
The most intense experiences of today were wrapped up in darkness. There is this section of the cave that is essentially completely dark, and so for someone who was not entirely sure of the path--quite scary. I got to one point--2 sheer walls spaced anywhere from 15-24 inches apart, with a drop of about 12-15 feet. I looked at it...recognized it, but couldn't remember what came after it. Staring down the crevice, I thought, "Well, if I go down there...can I climb back up? Not totally sure, but we'll make it work."
So I went down and across--just the way I remembered. And then I reached another part I remembered--a slide-like shaft which was fairly wide, about 15-20 feet down, but with an opening only about 20 inches deep. Again I thought, "If I go down there, and there's no way out, can I climb back up?" I decided what the hell, and went down anyway.
Once I reached the bottom, I stopped and took a look around. I was on solid ground. Dirt and rock. I looked right--no way out. I looked left--no way out. All I saw was a small hole on the side of the floor, and in looking down I could see no sunlight and only dirt...so I figured I had taken a wrong turn.
Now...to add to the drama: I have a backpack with me. It is almost pitch black in this section (I was using the flash on my camera to find my way...). And it has started to thunder...and lightning...and rain.
So I thought, "Well, crap. Dead end--now I really do have to climb back up and out...." So I climbed up the first section without much problem. The side section had plenty of hold and was much wider than the rest. Then I get back to the two sheer walls...and I begin to wonder how I am going to get out with no holds...and rain. All the while the thunder and lightning continues.
I decide there's no other option--so I gotta find a way. I brace myself between the two walls, and start to shimmy myself across. I am still a couple feet too low, so I try to work myself up as I go. My knee caps are screaming as I continually crush them into the rock wall, and my arms are burning from holding me up for so long. I reach the end, and I am still a good 12 inches too low. So I start to stretch, trying to reach a hand hold. I get a shaky one, and then try to work my foot up. All the while I can see the rain coming down with flashes of lightning here and there and my heart is pounding because I am not sure I can pull myself out of this hole.
After a few minutes of shimmying, and desperation...I finally work myself out...for at least 10 minutes I was not sure I was going to be able to climb back out. So as I am gasping for air and listening to my heart pound...I just lean against the cool rock and let the rain fall on my face. But I am not done yet. I have to find the end so I can lead my friends through this path tomorrow.
I decide that I will find the end and climb the path backwards so I can find where the paths meet, because obviously I am missing something. This decision entails climbing all the way back out of the cave, around the rocks, and back up in a different section...including climbing up the remains of a dead tree.
I get to the bottom, and can't find the way up because once again, I am in total darkness. After taking a few pictures, I finally see the path up. I try to find some holds....and there are none. The rock has been worn smooth by others sliding down. I twist and turn and finally find one hold...for my left hand. There's no way my left hand can pull me up, so I decide to just take a look around and see if I can recognize some landmarks to look for. Snap a couple pictures, and head back around to climb through the beginning again.
I go through the sheer rock walls and down the rock slide...and again end up where I think there is no escape. But I look again at that small opening in the floor. Pull out my camera, and lo and behold--that little opening is exactly what I am looking for!
I work myself into the opening, backpack and all--the opening is only about 40 inches wide and about 15 inches deep, but 12 feet down. A tight squeeze. From being at the bottom I know that the rock under me disappears about 4 feet from the ground...so I am going to have to do it blind. Nonetheless, I venture down. I slide a little too quickly and end up scraping my back a bit, but with very little drama I slide out at the bottom, and give a little victory yelp as I crawl my way back out into the sunshine.
The rain and lightning have stopped, and now there is beautiful sunshine. The air is clean and crisp and still smells of the rain. It is a glorious moment as I realize that I have climbed the whole cave alone. And I survived.
I climb out and onto some rocks in the sun, and write for a while. The breeze was blowing sweetly, the songs on my ipod just right for the moment, and the quiet of the world soothed my soul. All too soon I found myself needing to leave to drive back down into reality...but it wasn't too difficult knowing I would be back within 24 hours.
It was an amazing day. Between the uncertainty, learning to trust my instincts, relying on myself to have the strength I needed, and the overall success of the day--I found another piece of my heart and soul. And it was beautiful.
I can't wait to share it with my best friends.
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