Wrong Love

I had this thought today.

It's kind of awful, I think...but it makes sense.

Here it is:

I love all the wrong things.

Part of this stems from having to return to the doctor for my old wrist injury, and part of this comes from thinking about my love life.

After all was said and done with the doctor today, she told me I couldn't knit, crochet, play guitar or ukulele, rock climb and that I needed to limit my sewing. Basically, take everything I love away. She said a couple times "your job is an issue," seemingly hinting that I should start considering other ways of making a living because my wrist would not withstand this work life.

Stop doing what you were made to do, what you love to do....just stop, drop it right now.
It's not as easy as it sounds.

When do I get some semblance of order? Some tangible remnant of what used to be mine?

Instead, I am left with empty hands, and a weary, dreary, sad heart. Small, empty hands....

In my love life....I love that which is destructive, imperfect, angry and that which break my heart the most. I love that which hurts me, tries me, deserts me and lies to me. That which is unhealthy, unbalanced and undecided.

I fall in love with all the wrongs things....and people.

If only I could fall out of love just as easily...and gracefully....