Igloo 7

I can see the sun shining...
But it's far away,
And not on me.
I know the clouds will blow over,
And the sun will warm my face.

But not in this moment.

I look for a hand to hold,
I look for that smile,
The one that coaxed me out
Of my igloo in the first place.

But it has evaporated...
Like the water from my ice blocks...
And there is nothing left,
Only the memories,
And the impressions
The ice blocks left on the ground.

I am afraid that my flowers are dying...
My pieces of hope are withering.
It has taken all my strength
To withstand it all thus far...
I am barely standing.
How can I help these flowers grow
When all I can do is save myself?

Some days I wonder....
Am I back inside my igloo?
Have I already shut everyone out again?
But I look to the sky,
And I see the clouds.
And I know there's no more igloo.

This is what it's like.
What it's like to feel.
To feel it all.