Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I don't want to ride this roller coaster anymore...do I?

End of the World
By Matt Alber

I don't want to ride this roller coaster.
I think I want to get off.
But they buckled me down,
Like it's the end of the world.

If you don't want to have this conversation,
Then you better get out,
Cause we're climbing to our death.
At least what they want you to think.
Just in case we jump the track,
I have a confession to make,
It's something like a corkscrew...


I don't wanna fall,
I don't wanna fly,
I don't wanna be dangled over,
The edge of a dying romance.
But I don't wanna stop,
I don't wanna lie
,
I don't wanna believe it's over.
I just wanna stay with you tonight.


I didn't mean to scream out quite so loudly
When we screeched to a halt.
I'm just never prepared,
For the end of the ride.
Maybe we should get on something simpler,
Like a giant balloon.
But I've got two tickets left, and so do you.
Instead of giving them away to some stranger,
Let's make them count, come on--
Let 's get back in line again and ride the big one.

Don't you wanna fall,
Don't you wanna fly...
Don't you wanna be dangled over
The edge of this aching romance?
If it's gonna end
, then I wanna know
That we squeezed out every moment.
But if there's nothing left,
Can you tell me why
That is it you're holding onto me
Like it's the end of the world?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTvJdpkdLiw
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I use songs and lyrics a lot, in case you haven't noticed.  This usually comes either when I am incredibly inspired by a song or when I haven't had time to sort out what is inside my head and heart.  This one is both.

I feel like I have been on a roller coaster for months...and the ride has been far too long.  So why can't I just get off?  Why can't I just give away my remaining tickets and cut my losses?  I know I am riding alone...

I guess I just want to know that I gave it all I had.  That's how I am...that's why it took me so long to leave my marriage--I had to give it every single chance I could.  I can never give anything less than everything that I have...and that's how I get most hurt.  I will never stop giving...until the pain overpowers me.  Then I know it's time...

How do you know it's time?

Am I the only one willing to go so far?  


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