Tupperware Party

Everything is better inside tupperwares.
I used to know how to pack everything up,
Just right--the Tetris Queen.
Everything had it's place,
And each tupperware lid snapped closed
With that amazing satisfying "click."

I used to know how to pack every emotion up,
Just right--so neatly into my mental tupperwares.
Each one was sorted, labeled, packed--
Each lid closed perfectly,
Each tupperware stacked neatly
In the corners of my mind.
So calm, so cool, so collected.
So distant, so cold, so separated.

After meeting you,
And getting to know you,
All my tupperwares started to open.
Slowly at first, I wanted to show you
All that was within me.
I wanted you to know me,
Because I wanted to know you too.

Now all the lids on my neatly packed tupperwares
Are popping off left and right...
I don't know how to stop them...
They are falling out of their perfect little stacks,
My emotions falling out all over the floor,
Rushing like waves, radiating out into the world.
At first I scrambled to scoop up what I could--
Try to stuff everything back into the tupperwares,
Just get it all back in, I can sort it later...
But I found that trying to shove it all back in
Was as effective as scooping water with a slotted spoon.

So now...I stand back...and watch.
The emotions, the memories, the past
All radiate out into the world.
They flood me, up over my head some days.
Other days, I am caught in a slow moving pool--
One filled with hope and comfort.
Other days, it is a maelstrom,
Pulling me down into the depths
Where I feel I can't breathe, I can't think.
Both types of days pass...
Some are longer than others.

Now I stand back, and brace myself.
I try to take the exploding tupperwares as they lay.
I can no longer put it all into tupperwares,
Even when I try--it just pops right back open.

So I am sorry if you get caught in the torrent sometimes.
I am sorry if the waves overtake you too sometimes.
I am still learning how to handle this ocean...
How to swim and navigate the oceans once inside my tupperwares.