This time one year ago, I was fighting to save my marriage. Not myself, or what I believed, but that intangible thing we all recognize. I was losing myself in a battle I knew was already lost.
Going through the holidays with a facade, was so difficult...going on a vacation with a facade was easier somehow, but I knew it couldn't last long. I still can't believe that no one noticed....no one knew...
I am not looking forward to all that I will be feeling over the next week. I have not been single on Christmas for so long...since I was a young teenager.
I see things..like the mistletoe...and wish that I had someone to share it with. I wish that I had someone to cuddle me all Christmas Eve, and hold me Christmas morning.
Part of me is so angry to be alone right now...this is not what I wanted.
But I have to let that go...because this is what I have.
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