Happy Holidays...

What am I supposed to feel,

When for the first time ever

I come home to a mostly empty home,

Just my kittens to welcome me?

While they love the tree,

And the ornaments too,

I don't think they see this time of year

The same way I do.

For the first time,

I have no one to share hot cocoa with

As we sit by the fire night after night,

Discussing what to get our brothers,

And what not to get our parents,

And what wrapping paper and bows

I want to use for each.

There's no secret hiding spot

For gifts I have made,

No game of hide and seek

For what is in store for me.

There are no hints dropped for me,

And no hints for me to drop...

No mistletoe to pause under,

And only 3 stockings on the fireplace.

As I wander through each party,

There's no one beside me,

Placing their hand on the small of my back

To comfort me as I engage in social interaction.

No one to bring me a drink

Or drive me home in the ice cold snow.

But there is also no one

To hold me back,

To talk over me,

To make me worry,

To stress me out,

To hurt me so.

So in this haze of holidays,

I wish you all the best...

I wish all of you the best.

I may not be ready

To walk this part alone,

But I will.

Because I know,

It's what I need to do.

Happy Holidays.