Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Starting Again

I keep vowing that I will start writing again. I miss it dearly and I have noticed how my skills have wasted in the years that I haven't flexed my writing muscle. As someone who once was absolutely terrified of public speaking, to find myself more comfortable talking to someone as opposed to writing to them - that's a dramatic shift. 

I know I am not great at this right this moment. But I promise that I will get better. Not only because I have to, but also because I want to. I love the click of the keyboard or the swish of pen on paper. I miss that. 

Today, I had another cardiac episode. It was the worst I can remember. For the first time in a while, I thought I was going to faint. I experienced weakness like I never have before, and even started having trouble articulating my thoughts. I found myself hunting for words, seeing them in my head - but unable to get them out of my mouth. 

The good news is, my EKG showed nothing exciting or out of the ordinary for me. I was diagnosed with premature atrial complexes in early 2012 and my Dad has Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome; so cardiac episodes are not out of the ordinary for me. I am used to chest pain, fainting when surprised, and palpitations. I am not used to trouble speaking and weakness.

My initial diagnosis today is: I have a sensitive heart. Well, one sensitive to stress anyway. (I think it is sensitive in a lot of ways, but that's another post.) So, now I have to find out how to reduce my stress to avoid more episodes - because I can't leave work halfway through the day every day. 

Anyway, I have no idea where this blog is going right now, but I'll figure it out. You're welcome to come along for the ride, if you'd like. I promise it will be interesting - big things are on the horizon.

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