Phobic

by Plumb

I watched you sit alone,
I watched you cry your eyes out.
Now tell me what you've done.

Is it so bad
That I would shut you out
And leave you here alone?

Yes I saw what you did,
I was right there with you,
I won't let you sink.
No, I forgive you.

Phobic,
Don't be.
Grace needs a little more freedom.
Phobic,
Don't be.
Love needs room to breathe.

I have watched you grow,
And I've stood in your shadow,
I've never walked away.

I hung the stars and
I hold your heart
So, don't ever be afraid.

Yes, I know when you breathe,
And I feel when you need.
I won't let you sink.
No, I forgive you.

Phobic,
Don't be.
Grace needs a little more freedom.
Phobic,
Don't be.
Love needs room to breathe.

You can be healed.
You can be free.
You can know peace.
Never be afraid again.

Phobic,
Don't be.
Grace needs a little more freedom.
Phobic,
Don't be.
Love needs room to breathe.

Never be afraid.
Never be afraid.
He's here.
_______________________________

I have been thinking about this song for several days now...I didn't know all of the words, but now that I do I like the song even more I think.

But what has been stuck in my head had been "grace needs a little more freedom" and "love needs room to breathe."

Now, to wrap my own head around all I want to say...

I have been working on forgiving my ex. It has not been easy....for so many reasons.

I know what he did.
I was right there...
I watched him cry, I watched his heart break.
I watched him choose to hurt me.
I know he chose to hurt me..for whatever reason.
I couldn't keep him from sinking, no matter how hard I tried...

But I forgive him.

I can't be phobic anymore. I have to get past all he did to me--all he continues to do. I have to release the death grip I have on it all...and let it go. It will only poison me the longer I hold onto it all.

Grace needs a little more freedom...I have to open my heart and let go of the hurt, the hatred, the anger...or else I will never feel the healing power of forgiveness.

Love needs room to breathe...I have to let go of the past if I want to hold onto what I have in the present, if I want to grab a hold of everything there is in the future...or else the past will choke all the good out of each new day.

I can be healed.
I can be free.
I can know peace.
I can find a way to never be afraid again.

I can be healed...I can feel like my life is my own again. I can feel like I am no longer picking up the pieces of my life...I can feel my heart whole again.

I can be free...I can fly on the wings of love again. I can be free from the chains of anger and released from the prison of pain.

I can know peace...I can breathe in each moment. I can relax in the warmth of a new sunrise in my soul...I can rise above the continued chaos and poison thrown at me by my enemies.

I can find a way to never be afraid again...I won't ever be hurt like that again. I will be loved like never before. I will never be abused again...

I forgive him.

Those words are so easy to write, and I know that it is something I will have to continually work on. But this is my choice...and I choose to rise above all the negativity...even if he can't rise above his own lies and deceit, I will.

Love needs a little more freedom...I can't let the demons of the past choke the love I have in my life now...the demons are either in the past, or they aren't. My ex is either in my past, or he is in the present. I choose to keep him in the past, to leave him there with all the pain, anger, hatred, broken hearts and broken pieces.

He has no power over me...not even anger.

I am stronger than that...and I can never be afraid again.

I will be healed.
I will be free.
I will know peace.

I will rise above...