Somewhere in Between

I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't.
And now I cannot stop pacing.
Give me a few hours,
I'll have this all sorted out...
If my mind would just stop racing.

Cause I cannot stand still.
I can't be this unsturdy.
This cannot be happening...

This is over my head,
But underneath my feet.
And by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat,
And everything will be back to the way that it was...
I wish that it was just that easy.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight.
Then waiting for tomorrow...
And I'm somewhere in between,
What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in?
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again.
I don't want to run away from this...
I know that I just don't need this.

Cause I cannot stand still.
I can't be this unsturdy.
This cannot be happening.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight,
Then waiting for tomorrow.
And I'm somewhere in between,
What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream.
What is real and just a dream.
___________________________________

Wide awake. Appropriate time stamp for today. I'm going grocery shopping.

Update: post-shopping:

It is now 3:50AM, and I am still feeling wide awake. While I was at the grocery store...I had a realization..

...this is kind of depressing.

At a time when people are curled up in their beds, warm and comfortable next to the ones they love, I am alone...at a 24-hour grocery store. Instead of sharing these late night moments with someone I care for, I am sharing them with strangers...

Now the people I run into at these hours, are not nearly as strange as you might think...oddly enough I feel very comfortable around them all. There is the younger woman with dark hair, highlighted with bright pink stripes--who is a good 6 inches shorter than I--she has a strong-willed attitude and doesn't take any crap from any of the other workers. But she is extremely friendly to everyone, and likes to make jokes and laugh. There is the fellow who is usually at the door when I walk in: I think he is mostly Hispanic, but he must have some Native American in his gene pool as well. But he always says hello and asks me how I am. Then there is the gentleman who usually wear a hat...he has a very meager beard, round face and glasses. Sometimes he is at the door, other times he is at register 18 (after midnight change-over anyway). He is very friendly, and likes to chat as much as possible. Tonight he wished me a "Good Morning" when I left, and I wished him the same--to which he replied "I'll sure try!"

It's kind of funny to be in a store at a time that is assumed no one will be there. I get to listen to the employees sing along to their stereos, which they have plugged in all over the store. I can hear them chatting about their personal lives from several aisles over, leaving me feeling like a spy...

It is also kind of nice to be in a store at a time that no one else is. I definitely have shopping ADD. I have a tendency to leave my cart somewhere, and browse for what I am looking for over several aisles. This works out really well at 3AM. There's no one to run into, no one to push my cart out of the way...no one to care that I just left my cart in the mathematical middle of the walkway...

But it is still depressing. Not only do I wander the food aisles and get reminded of all I can't and don't want to eat, but also it is still all very, very lonely.

I wonder if the people who work this late at the grocery store ever get lonely...