On Pain and Sorrow...

I have an old shoulder "injury," I fractured my collar bone when I was in fourth grade. It healed slightly crooked, and so I have had some small issues at times...throwing a ball straight can be an issue--I have to over-correct to hit my mark; but usually it does not cause me much grief....until the past few days.

Starting about Tuesday, I have had some unusual pain in my shoulder. I expected that the pain would go away in a day or so, like it usually does. But it has been quite persistent...

But the thought came to mind--that I should write about physical pain. My family and friends have always testified that I have a high pain tolerance, and I would agree. I was a slightly (yes, go ahead and laugh, Stacy) accident prone child, so I think that I got to build up my tolerance when I was young. Fractured collarbone, cracked open forehead, skinned knees, left side of face road-rashed away, near third degree burns, plenty of burn blisters...

In the book, Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin, there is a section in which she discusses how animals feel pain. Post-surgery, many animals are not given pain killers. This is because with the pain killers they are likely to feel no pain and increase their chances of injuring themselves while their wounds heal. She transitions into talking about how people feel pain...and then she discusses this experiment concerning chronic pain in humans.

I need to read the book again, but from what I remember, scientists disconnected one part of the brain from the rest in this group of people who experienced chronic pain. Those who had the procedure done were asked if they still felt any pain...and they said that they did feel pain--but it didn't bother them.

Sometimes, this is how I feel I am with all types of pain. I feel it, but it is properly processed, filed, and placed neatly into my mental tupperwares. It is there--is always is, but I do my best to not let it bother me.

So, as I face this enduring pain in my shoulder, I don't know what exactly to do. My body and my soul are two very different creations...do I let the pain persist, since it doesn't bother me? Or is this really a warning sign from my body that something must be done?

Oh, it does hurt.
And I will wince.
And it will still hurt.
I will want for it to go away...very badly.
But everyone gets their fair share of pain.
So why should I complain about a bad shoulder?