Damaged

Damaged
by Plumb

Dreaming comes so easily,
'cause it's all that I've known.
True love is a fairy tale,
I'm damaged, so how would I know.

I'm scared and I'm alone.
I'm ashamed,
And I need for you to know...

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

Healing comes so painfully,
And it chills to the bone.
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know.

I'm scared and I'm alone.
I'm ashamed,
And I need for you to know...

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

There's mending for my soul,
An ending to this fear.
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger...
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back...

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say,
And you can't take back what you've taken away,
'cause I feel you, I feel you near me.
_________________________________________

I know we're all damaged in some way...I guess there are just some days I feel more damaged than others. And I can't go back...I can't take back what was taken away...

Last Opening Night

I am standing in the shop...just the cats and I. It's quiet, except for the hum of the computer and the soundtrack from the stage softly coming from the monitor.

It's so hard to believe it's the last show...I have been so involved in opening nights here for so many years...even before I was a student in the theatre department.

There was no hoopla...nothing said about my last opening night. I guess it's just a big deal to me...it seems so sad. This is home...I have everything I need here when I bring the kids in. I know this room so well...this is my room, this building my home. I know every corner, secret hiding place...there's not a place I can't link to some memory.

And so soon I will have to say goodbye for good. Soon, there will be no new memories made and the ones I have will start to age...like an old photograph.

There is a piece of me here...I know there always will be. And I just hope that I have made some impression--that there is some legacy I have left behind. That the love I feel for this place will be spread to those who come after me...

I am one lucky woman. I have been so fortunate to have gotten to stay here for so long. For every experience--every laugh, every tear, every late night--I am truly thankful.

I can't imagine anywhere else I would rather be...but I know it's time to move on.

I sometimes don't know how to feel...facing this alone. I knew I would have to eventually...and it's ok. The future is so uncertain...and having to walk away from here, just my own two feet (and eight tiny paws) and no hand to hold--is so bittersweet. I will always miss this place--I know it. I will miss these people, these walls...the late nights and corny jokes. I have seen so much in this place...years of students...faculty...lives.

Every time the curtain goes up, it must eventually come down. The hands are on the rail, on standby to lower my curtain here. End of scene.

Last day of tech...

I am a day ahead on my postings...I post quite late in the night, or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it. So, recently I have just been a day ahead...and today is no different.

Tonight, I had my last day of tech at CU...it is so hard to believe. After so many years, so many shows, so many students--so many hours, this was the last. So bittersweet.

Opening tomorrow will be more difficult....I can already tell.

Waiting for your shoes to fall on me...

...and if you like it's not so hard to sweep me off my feet.

Countdown...

So soon I will be moving out of here...2 weeks from today I will be moving...hard to believe. I don't even want to think about it...it's so soon. I will miss this place dearly...

In Your Eyes...

If I saw myself in your eyes,
I wonder what I would see.
All I know is that when I look at your face,
I love your eyes smiling back at me.

Feeling Real

...like I am actually doing what I was made to do...at least part of it.
...finally feeling at home...in what I do...
...in who I am...
...mostly.

Comfy

It doesn't take much...

....to be happy and comfortable.

Moving this Month

I find it so hard to believe that in 20 days I will be out of here...I love this place. It's our little home...the kids and I. It's become our Home. It will be sorely missed...despite all the mess and occasional water leaks...